that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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