And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
