Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
