wat bout pragnant strippers??
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
