Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
