Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
