dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
