i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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