There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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