I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize