That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
