Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize