pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
