I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
they need to just BURY HIM!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
