dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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