My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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