I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
