Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize