Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We are two peas in an std pod
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
