How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
