she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
