I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
