woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
