I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize