the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
