come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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