Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
