do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
then he tried to convert me to islam
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
