Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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