I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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