Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
