next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
