Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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