Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
