I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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