awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
