youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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