Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
operation harelip BJ is a go
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
