You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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