kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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