cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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