we're chasing vodka with high fives
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
