You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Vodka?
Forever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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