when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
