Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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