You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize