onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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