what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
