as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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