remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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