Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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