i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
