Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
