i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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