the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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