Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
