This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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