My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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