We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
