I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
