god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
