ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
