I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
